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September 9, 2010
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HUMAN INTIMACY - 101 by inspiredcreativity HUMAN INTIMACY - 101 by inspiredcreativity

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EDIT: Added 2 Pages 9-10-10; RESUBMITTED: This disappeared from my Gallery. DA Tech is looking into it.

This is a very basic look at Intimacy, a visual way of seeing the levels of intimacy, barriers to intimacy, and the non-physical and non-sexual forms of intimacy.

Obviously the barriers to intimacy are extensive, but perhaps presented this way, they may not seem so daunting.


There is a real beauty to simple intimacy. Touching him, his smell, his taste, and when you love him you want it all, you want to experience all of him.

The act of sex, intercourse, is simply the culmination, the end of a journey. What I think people loose track of is the beauty of the journey getting there. It is like the only important thing in the sex act at the very end. But the very most important part is the intimacy before the climax.

If your partner is unable to orgasm, for any number of possible reasons, such as an accident paralyses him, surgery on his prostate makes him impotent, diabetes, surgical accidents, and so forth, the greater majority of the loving intimacy is still possible.

Men are especially in a rush to get to the end, often leaving women and romantic gay men in the lurch. With so much focus placed on orgasm and intercourse, too many couples loose out on a lot of other intimacy, including non-sexual, and non-physical intimacy.
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:iconleopardhah:
leopardhah Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2010  Hobbyist Photographer
cool!
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:iconartangel-demon:
artangel-demon Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2010  Student General Artist
NOT that i am having sex yet, but i do have to admit...this is incredibly informational. i think this will help me once i'm married (christian parents) and then i can rub this into his (or her) face...just to prove i heard it here first...
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:iconinspiredcreativity:
inspiredcreativity Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2010  Professional Digital Artist
Hi, If you click on HUMAN INTIMACY- 101.pdf, you will see that I added 2 more pages. These pages are about how people can experience Physical Intimacy, even Sensual and Erotic Physical intimacy, without actually having sex.

I wanted to show that there is a lot a couple can do, and still maintain Virginity, if that is their goal. The sex part is simply the end of an intimacy journey for a couple. Yet, all of the importance is focused sex itself. If your partner could not be sexual, because of accident, surgery, cancer, etc, there is still a lot of great intimacy a couple can still have. You can see it like an iceberg, where the relatively small amount showing above the water is sex, and below the surface is the massive bulk of the iceberg, which represents all of the levels of intimacy, including non-sexual physical intimacy.

If the most important thing to a couple is sex, the relationship may not make it over the long-term. If you develop all of the other means of intimacy first, it allows sexual intimacy to be all the more intensely pleasurable.
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:iconempt-minded:
empt-minded Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
some of my classmates are saying i should rush things up and get intimate with my girlfriend or she'll leave me 3:>
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:iconinspiredcreativity:
inspiredcreativity Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2010  Professional Digital Artist
I would say that your friends are not experts in this. The only person who knows if she will leave or stay is your girlfriend. If she leaves you for that reason, she is not worth having. I know that sounds harsh, but if she loves you for real, she will wait until you are ready. It is as simple as that.

One thing that young people seem to do is assume that any physical intimacy means sex. You can have very satisfactory physical intimacy, and even sensual or erotic intimacy, without sex. Kissing, cuddling, hugging, squeezing and petting is not sex. Skin contact can be amazingly erotic and sensual.

Many people of all ages focus on sexual climax as being what sexual intimacy is all about, but I disagree. It is all of the intimacy beforehand that leads to an amazing climax. Those who just race ahead are loosing out. Making love is when your focus is on pleasing your partner, thus giving you pleasure. As apposed to sex, where the focus is on pleasing yourself.

Much of our physical, sensual, and erotic needs we have can be met through non-sexual physical intimacy. There are simple little intimacy games you can play that are not sexual at all.

SIMPLE NON-SEXUAL INTIMACY:

There is all kinds of SENSUAL NON-SEXUAL intimacy girls can do, lots of ways you can be “Sensually” intimate without ANY sexual intimacy. You can vary the amount of intimacy by starting to do intimacy fully clothed, then later, as you become comfortable with each other, you can remove shirts, then later, remove undergarments too, then eventually fully nude. The idea is to get used to “touch” intimacy. There are many ways to be intimate before you ever even get to kissing.

BACK DRAWING is when you take off your shirts and one of you draws pictures or writes on the back of the other with a finger, while the other tries to guess what it is, or just relaxes into it, then you switch places.

ONE-HANDED LOCK: Another fun one is to face each other, reach forward and hold hands with one hand (you can do it with any hand combination), then you both start moving around, twisting stepping through, reach through, to see all of the positions you can move around in, WITHOUT BREAKING HAND CONTACT. It can get really wild.

TWO-HANDED DANCE: One I did when teaching dance was to face each other standing, and both of you hold your hands facing forward, your palms facing her and hers facing yours. Step forward until your palms come together, her right palm to your left palm, and her left palm touching your right palm. Take turns leading. If you are leading, then walk forward, walk backward, walk and rotate all the way around, crouch down and rise up on your toes. The idea is for her to mach you EXACTLY, following your every move. Then have her do it with eyes closed. This is where you learn to really TUNE-INTO OTHER, responding with the slightest lead. Then reverse roles.

TWISTER: You could play TWISTER together. You can make your own sheet with circles drawn on it, as well as a simple spinner like this [link] or use dice. You can buy it for $15 Twister from Amazon. Here are some photos: [link] [link] [link]

SPOONING - SITTING: You can also have her sit on the floor, or on the couch facing lengthwise, legs out in front of her, and then you sit in front of her, your back to her front, where she can wrap her arms and legs around you. Then reverse it.

SPOONING – LYING DOWN: She would lie down on a bed, couch, or floor, on her side, knees bent, and you lie down on your side and fit into her “spoon,” like two spoons stacked in a drawer, with your butt up against her groin (you can do this fully clothed). Then all you have to do is both turn over, lying on your other side, and she will be enfolded in you.

SLEEPING: It is intimate to take a nap together, sleeping the night together, with body contact.

DANCING: I was starved for intimacy in my life, and I was recovering from a failed suicide. I stumbled upon a GLBT C&W Dance Hall. Imagine, instant intimacy, all you have to do is ask a person to dance with you. This should have been impossible with my kind of Autism, but I just kept practicing, for years, and got good at it. The Neurologist said I had literally laid down new neural pathways in my brain. It is exhilarating to have another person in your arms, man or woman, balancing against each other, spinner, gliding across the floor. Some dances, like the West Coast Swing, Rhumba, Bolero, and Tango, can be very sensual. You can simply have fun playing music and dancing together, or you can take group lessons somewhere (if your parents can afford it).

A HIGHER DEGREE OF NON-SEXUAL INTIMACY: In time, you may wish to increase to a higher degree of intimacy.

FRENCH KISSING: This is kissing with tongues exploring each other's mouths. Remember that each person likes to be kissed differently. By going slow at first, you can tune-into your partner's responses to see what she likes best. Start out light and gentle, tongue tips playing with each other, perhaps some very light teeth pulling on the lower lip. You do not want to start by slobbering all over your partner and sticking your tongue down her throat. You can then move to light tongue explorations of each other's mouths, without deep penetration of tongues. As passions rise, tongues can wrestle with each other and go deeper. Don't go into animal-hunger wild-beast kissing unless your partner is there too.

BODY EXPLORATION: Normally, intimacy is both of you doing things together. There is little opportunity just to get to know your partner’s body. This time, one of you does nothing except lay there and turn over when told, while the other takes her time to feel your hair, touch, trace, smell and/or tongue your body, looking for erogenous zones. You can do this with undergarments on if you want.

Erogenous zones are zones on your body that give great pleasure when stimulated. For example, there is a spot in the nape of my neck that will drive me nuts with pleasure, especially if it is a tongue doing it. Some of these zones are common to most people, while others vary widely.

One of my first experiences with a man was when a man fell asleep with his head in my lap. My family had almost zero touch, so I had never really had a chance to truly see a person close-up, like spending 5 minutes exploring his hands, feeling his hair, tracing his face with my fingers, and exploring his body. For me it was an intensely intimate experience that has always stayed with me. It was good he was asleep, because I am Autistic, and back then I was extremely shy. Now I would want him awake.

BODY MASSAGE (non-sexual): I am a Massage School dropout. It was too hard on my body, too painful, but I can give an incredible therapeutic massage. Start with her on her stomach laying down flat. If you are on the floor or bed, you can straddle his butt, on your knees, or sitting on him, to start the massage. Start lightly massaging the neck and shoulder muscles. As they soften you can go deeper, like kneading dough. This is where we store a lot of tension. Then use finger tips along the spine, then work the butt muscles good. The butt muscles are large and connect the back and legs together. Massaging these muscles will relax back and leg tension.

FROTTAGE is non-penetrating sexual intimacy (other than kissing), and can be heavy petting to rubbing your bodies together, to rubbing body parts together.

CONCLUSION: There are many ways to be physically intimate with a partner, or even a friend (dancing, hand games, twister, back drawing), without ever getting to actual sex, which is usually seen as penetrative sex (including fingers, tongues and objects). You can have sensual and erotic physical intimacy, without sex. If you want to wait for sex, be creative with others ways you can be intimate. Just don't let your passions lead you to do what you would rather wait to do.
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:iconempt-minded:
empt-minded Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you <:3 as always your comments help me a great deal!
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:icondolphin64575:
dolphin64575 Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
i'd do what you feel is best, your classmates don't know your relationship. if you're nervous, ask her if she's ready, and maybe let her know if you're ready or not. If she loves you, she'll stay.
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:iconempt-minded:
empt-minded Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank-you for the advice. i'll be sure to ask when i can muster up some courage (and accual words that make sense)
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