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ALSO, there is a new study from the University Of Pennsylvania showing that Gay Men and Lesbians can recognize and identify the odor of others who share their sexual preference. This kind of scent-based gaydar enables gays to pinpoint potential partners. It is the power of Pheromones, and shows a definite chemical difference in Pheromones of homosexuals.
This is a PDF Document. Click on [link] (DOWNLOAD) to Read it or Download it.
Please also see my deviation on [link] (The Science of Homosexuality).
You are free to download it for Personal or School use.
Please Take the GADAR TEST and Watch the VIDEO.
This is almost everything there is to know about how Homosexuals and Bisexuals are biologically, physiologically, and cognitively different from Heterosexuals, and how to recognize those Traits.
Between this paper and my PDF on [link] (The Science of Homosexuality.pdf), there is zero doubt that we are born Homosexual or Bisexual, although part of that process may have happened in the womb.
Already some radical Conservatives have noted that soon we will be able to test a fetus for the Homosexuality, and then either treat it with hormone therapy to turn it Straight, or to abort the fetus.
I fear that this will be a battleground for my younger Queer Brothers and Sisters. I sure hope not, but you know it is true.
Homosexuality exists in over 1,500 Species that we know of so far. It is Natural and part of what keeps the human and animal Genome.
ENJOY the Read.
CRUISING GOLDEN RULES:
1. You can tell a lot from someone’s stare or eye gazing. Do his or her eyes linger on you just a little too long? Do his or her eyes meet your eyes and hold for just a moment? We Gay people can do a lot with our eyes. Then you can add a subtle smile if you are being careful, or a big smile if you want to be more obvious.
2. Look for gentle body contact when you walk past someone.
3. When you walk past someone, and you are interested in him or her, look back after two-seconds. If he or she looks back at you, that person might be interested in you too!
"In many other studies, though, lesbians have appeared less unique than gay men,
leading some people to wonder if their sexual orientation is innate. Michael Bailey—who,
as a heterosexual researcher, is a minority in this field—even doubts the existence of
female sexual orientation, if by orientation we mean a fundamental drive that defies our
conscious choices. He bases this provocative gambit on a sexual-arousal study he and his
students conducted. When shown pornographic videos, men have an undeniable response
either to gay or straight images but not both, according to sensitive gauges attached to
their genitals—it’s that binary. Female sexual response is more democratic, opaque, and
unpredictable: Arousal itself is harder to track, and there is evidence that it defies easy
categorization. “I don’t yet understand female partner choices very well, and neither does
anyone else,” Bailey wrote me in an e-mail. “What I do think it’s time to do is admit that
female sexuality looks in some ways very different from male sexuality, and that there is
no clear analog in women of men’s directed sexual-arousal pattern, which I think is their
sexual orientation. I am not sure that women don’t have a sexual orientation, but it is
certainly unclear that they do.”
He contends that what they have instead is sexual preference—they might prefer sex
with women, but something in their brains can still sizzle at the thought of men."
Sorry, I just copied what I responded to. I don't think he has researched enough to conclude anything, and I think you are right: lesbians are probably less studied because when it came to the AIDS break outs. Lesbians seem to have it in a much lesser number than anyone else. Women studies in general are very few, even today, because men tend to be the ones getting sick the most often and they die a few it not several years younger than a typical female.
As the Swedish research showed, Female sexual arousal is not tightly linked to sexual Orientation, but that certainly does not suggest that sexual orientation n women does not exist. It is really absurd.
We do know that female sexuality is more fluid in women compared to men, but this applies more to women who are closer to the center of the sexual orientation spectrum (not solidly Straight or Lesbian). For example, there are a number of primarily Straight women who have been badly abused by men in some way. These women then adopted a Lesbian lifestyle because they could not stand to be around men. In the Lesbian Community, these are best known as "Man Haters," and they hate all men, Straight or Gay.
I have never seen Gay men be unfriendly to Lesbians, especially in clubs and bars, but I have frequently experienced bad treatment by 'Man Hater' Lesbians. The most recent incident happened early this year. My Lesbian sister and her wife told my partner and I to meet them at the Wildrose [link], a Lesbian bar & restaurant, for dinner. We arrived early. The stares and looks we got ranged from distaste to anger. We sat down and waited for 10 minutes but no came to our table. so my partner went to the bar to get us something to drink, and the bartender kept ignoring him and serving others as they showed-up. When my sister and her wife showed up, they took one look around and suggested we go elsewhere, before we had even said anything.
Anyway, back to flexible female sexuality. We also see much more sexual flexibility in female prisons, where otherwise straight identified women seem to fairly easily switch into a Lesbian relationship, them back to straight when they are released. Males can also make this switch, but at a much lower rate and it is more traumatic (usually through rape and intimidate/protection).
However, we do not know if some of this is do to the culture of our society, with the difference in how males and females are treated from birth, the social moires drilled into you from birth, in how masculinity is defined by society (strength and aggression). To attack your masculinity in most men attacks at their very being, at what defines them, which is feather sad. It does not have to be that way. We are not Hunter-Gatherers anymore.
Sexual Orientation does exist in females, without question. But defining sexual orientation based on sexual arousal, either in men or women, is absurd. It is true that sexual arousal in men correlated more closely to sexual orientation than in women, but this I believe has more to do with genetic biological imperatives. Men are genetically programed to reproduce as often as possible and whenever possible. Females are genetically programmed to create family units to ensure the successful survival of offspring.
Therefore, female sexuality is geared more around romantic bonding, it is much more emotionally based than in men. Females can much more sexually satisfied emotionally than physically, while men are geared the other way. Females, at least girls and young women, can become sexually aroused by viewing images of Straight, Gay male and Lesbian pornography, but in the real world, around actual human sexuality, building sexual arousal in women is much more emotional based, and making love is typically more emotionally based, as is the ability to reach orgasm.
Throughout history, women have complained of men getting off far before they have, and of going for a decade or a lifetime without ever reaching orgasm. The reason for this is that men are taught (via society) to get in there and have sex and be done with it, rather than making Love. It explain to Straight boys that a very minimal of at least 45 minutes to an hour should be spent in foreplay before sex, just to get the proper vaginal expansion and natural lubrication, let alone build passion for full arousal. Before any of that happens, just laying there and connection and sharing with the female partner is a big first step in the process of arousal, or in other words, expressing love.
If an otherwise Straight woman can become emotionally fulfilled by another woman in prison, then the physical part is a small price to pay, especially if the Straight one does not do the sexual things to the other person she might find distasteful (many such prison sexual relationships tend to be more one-sided sexually).
If researchers would actually examine both the emotional and physical things going on in sexuality, they just might get more accurate conclusions.
There is a habit in our society of seeing men as from mars and women as from venus and that they are very different creatures. It is true that there are differences in the brain, differences in behavior, differences in eye-sight (females see more colors and colors are more saturated), hearing differences, so on. But that said, the differences between men and women are more nuanced than dramatic, but we perceive and make them out to be dramatic.
The reality is that about 20% of men have brains, hearing, etc, more like those of women, and about 20% of women have brains, hearing, etc more like men. This is more evidence for when I say that even gender is on a spectrum.
You can have a very butch woman with who is completely straight, and you can have an effeminate man who is very straight, and you can have hyper-feminized women who are Lesbians and hyper-masculinized men who are Gay.
We know a whole lot more now about how male homosexuality happens, and very little about lesbians. The biggest reason for this has more to do with statistics. It was noticed that younger sons in families with more than one boy, was much more likely to be born homosexual. This started a number of lines of research.
But it is way overdue to start looking more into female homosexuality and sexual orientation in general.
I think this "flexibility" is all how female's brains are wired. Females are in general, nurturers, they are not aggressive, and love to show affection, of course, I use general because not all women are like this... I think men for the most part are still "evolutionarily" hardwired to be tough and strong (masculine) but as ages pass I am starting to see those types of men are lessening...then again, it could be because of society like you said...I just go with BOTH so I don't have to think about it too much. LOL.
LOL. My mom is butch but she is heterosexual.
I was thinking about going into the Women Sexuality Studies and the LGBT Studies... but then...people would think the research is biased...sigh...
Girls and women tend to approach sexuality from a much more emotional direction compared to men. Therefore, a woman who is primarily straight, in a pinch, could possibly be satisfied with another woman, because another woman can satisfy her other emotional and bonding needs.
When a researcher published his results about how Gay men had brain structure differences compared to straight men, he was immediately accused of bias, because he is Gay. But he had enough associates and witnesses to the research (taking of tissue slides and comparing them), and the statistical and analytical work, it stood up to the scrutiny of his peers.
Anyone can find any study to support anything they want. Christians do this regularly. But any study that is not widely Peer Reviewed and eventually reproduced by someone else, is not valid at all. The other problems are how researchers reach conclusions from their data, and this is often where they get into trouble, so real professionals take great care in proposed conclusions. Therefore, be sure to always check for these things (widely peer received, reproduced, reasonable conclusions) before accepting studies.
I have seen this really play out in the area of Disease and foreskins. For some 25 years, with over 70 studies showing 63 to 75% drop in STD and HIV transmissions in men who are circumcised, the other side still denies the science and put forth their own studies, but those studies are not peer accepted as valid, yet they are constantly quoted as fact. Programs in Africa have been held up for some 15 years before finally getting small pilot programs going, with dramatic result. Yet politics keep trimming science, with men and women referring to circumcision as "Mutilation" and babies being tortured by the procedure, etc.
Think about the massive drop in ordinary urinary infections, STDs and HIV (anywhere from 63 to 75% depending on where in the world it is) just from one simple procedure. Then the other side claims to have studies showing that circumcision greatly decreases penile sensitivity, when peer reviewed studies show little difference. [Note: Jesus was circumcised.]
Anyway, the reason why I mention this odd subject to you is to illustrate that popular public sentiment and politics will overrule science, even when there are huge health improvement possible.
Now, apply this to female studies. Ask yourself why there have been few studies around women's issues for hundreds of years. It is only in relatively recent times that research picked up for ovarian and breast cancers.
I talked to a retired Adolescent Psychologist Wednesday night, and he was saying that when he went to coolant (1940s) they taught that children could not possibly get depressed. This flew in the face of common everyday observations by professionals. When he talked to his professor about it, he was told that everyone in the profession who actually worked with children knew they go depressed, but the profession refused to make that official for a very long time, just as Autism was routinely diagnosed as Mental Retardation (as I was diagnosed in 1959).
That said, I hope that we are poised for a surge in female related studies.
So are there health benefits to it? I keep hearing that it does. Probably because it is hard to get the area between the penis and the foreskin clean. (weird subject, but I am curious...surprisingly)
I don't like the fact that they torture boys to do it though...
I wondered by Autism was considered Mental Retardation back then...was it because some have an inability to talk or learn? Or the fact they cannot communicate like everyone else??
If boys are not actively taught good hygiene practices at a young age, it can lead to getting urethral infections, as well as other foreskin problems.
You might be wondering WHY there is such a higher rate of infection. The inside lining of the foreskin is a mucous membrane, which makes it almost a direct disease vector into the body, like getting a cold virus on your finger and putting your finger into your nose or rubbing your eye. It also is the perfect warm, moist and dark environment ideal for bacterial growth. If a boy or man is using good hygiene practices there should not be any higher rate of NSU (Non-Specific Urethritis) infections.
Unfortunately, in America, there is so little education around boy's health and anatomy, and so much embarrassment and shame around the body, specially the genitals and sexuality that boys with Foreskins are too embarrassed to talk to anyone when problems arise, such as retraction problems, too tight, oversensitivity, etc. I see young guys suffering up into their 20's before finally seeking help. This is very unfortunate considering that many of the problems have very easy solutions, solutions I help boys with when they ask me about it.
Boys are not even taught how to do self-exams for testicular cancer, and this is a caner that strikes almost exclusively in boys around 15 to 25 years old.
This same problems around a lack of education is true of many girls too. For example, many girls have a mild to significant fear of sex, of pain for their first time, but the very fear of sex is what can make it painful. It is often not taught that a girl or woman needs at least 45 minutes or more of foreplay to achieve the proper vaginal expansion and natural lubrication. Without this, penetration might indeed be painful. Anxiety, fear or stress can prevent vaginal expansion and lubrication, as well as tense all of the muscles, which actually need to relax.
Girls often fear the first time having sex due to the Hymen Myth:
- It is a myth that the Hymen breaking causes pain for the vast majority of girls. The hymenal tissue has largely worn away by adolescence. During childhood, most hymenal tissue thins and the opening widens, and it also wears away as a result of washing, walking, athletics, self-exploration, and masturbation, though little bits may remain around the vaginal opening, particularly in the area closest to the anus (hymenal tags). The younger you are, the more intact and thicker it will be.
If your Hymen is still intact, fingers, a penis or toys that penetrate to the Hymen hard enough, will penetrate it. For most girls, the hymen breaks without them even noticing, so there is no pain at all. Some describe it breaking with just a sort of pop and only a little bit of blood, about the same amount as mid-cycle spotting or at the very end of your period, sort of pinky discharge rather than blood. Some girls actually find their hymen breaking to be a pleasurable experience, not painful at all.
Some girls might experience some discomfort or pain if they have an unusually thick Hymen, which is rare. In rare more cases (1 in 200) the hymen opening is so small that fingers, tampons, and erections may not be able to enter comfortably or at all (imperforate hymen). This can be repaired with a very simple surgical snipping.
CONCLUSION: Education about your body and sexuality is abysmal in the United States:
- • The USA Teen Gonorrhea rate is about 450 times higher than in the Netherlands.
• The USA teen HIV Infection rate is 6 times higher than in the Netherlands.
• Many sexually experienced teens (46% of males and 33% of females) did not receive formal instruction about contraception and safe-sex before they first had sex.
• About one in four adolescents (23% of females and 28% of males) received abstinence education without receiving any instruction about birth control in 2006–2008, compared with 8–9% in 1995.
• A 2007 congressionally mandated study found that federally-funded Abstinence-only programs have no beneficial impact on young people’s sexual behavior.
• ONE in THREE American Girls Become Pregnant in Their Teens.
• The United States’ teen pregnancy rate is over 4 times that of Europe.
• In the United States, the teen abortion rate is twice that of Europe.
• Researchers found that European youth were significantly more likely to use Condoms than were their U.S. peers.
• Among teens aged 18–19, 41% report that they know little or nothing about condoms and 75% say they know little or nothing about the contraceptive pill.
• 87% of Schools teach sex education about pregnancy prevention and STIs in High School, instead of Middle School or Elementary School.
• Only 65% of high schools taught about condom efficacy and only 39% taught students how to correctly use a condom in a required health education course.
• Everyday in America 10,000 Teens Catch a Sexually Transmitted Disease.
• ABSTINENCE & VIRGINITY PLEDGES: Youth who making these pledges are now shown to have sex at about the same rate as all other youth. HOWEVER, youth who make these pledges have a much higher rate of STD's and Teen Pregnancy, showing that they are not using condoms, showing that their level of Sex Education is next to zero.
THE TRUTH ABOUT BOYS & SEX
Boys think about sex about once every 7 seconds. However, boys are not the sex maniacs they are made out to be. Seventeen and the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy partnered on a survey of 1,200 15-22-year-old boys by TRU, asking them questions about what they want from their relationships, and how they think and feel when it comes to sex and hooking up. The major findings:
Teen boys are not the sex-crazed, confident guys we see on TV and in the movies; in fact, they want girls to speak up when it comes to making important decisions about sex.
Teen boys aren’t all sex-crazed players.
In fact, most say they’re looking for love and relationships over casual hookups:
66% say that they, personally, could be happy in a sex-free relationship (while in school)
54% would rather give up sex for a month than give up the Internet for a month
75% would choose to wait to lose their virginity to someone they love than to lose their virginity as soon as possible
Guys admit that they’re pretty confused about sex—physically and emotionally.
There’s a huge need for accurate information and more communication:
70% are confused about what a girl expects from them after sex
63% are confused about what’s pleasurable for a girl
42% didn’t know that a girl can get pregnant during her period
34% didn’t know that two condoms at the same time is not more effective than just wearing one
Guys are under tremendous pressure to have sex.
They’re walking the line between what they want, and what they feel like is expected of them:
78% say there is way too much pressure from society to have sex
21% have been pressured by a girl to go further sexually than they wanted to
60% admit they’ve lied about something related to sex, like how far they’ve gone or their number of sexual partners (often to appear cooler or more experienced)
Autism can present in many different ways. The more intense the Autism, the less functional the child is in daily life, especially around communication and social interaction.
One of my disorders is called Sensory Integration Dysfunction. This means that the brain is not integrating the body's senses into the other functions of the brain normally. For example, each of my eyes was reading independently of the other, and my brain was not integrating the right and left eyes together in one composite image. Therefore I was seeing double. i was unable to learn how to read, so the teacher just gave me crayons and put me in a back corner of the room.
I also have Dysgraphia, which is trouble expressing emotions in writing, but also poor handwriting and awful spelling.
But please keep in mind that if an Autistic young person pushes hard to overcome these things, and especially if they get special educational therapy, these challenges can all be overcome, as I did. This is due to the human brain's capability of rewiring itself, something called NEUROPLASTICITY.
When you practice doing something repeatedly for months and years, your brain starts to rewire itself to get better at that function. If your grandmother has a Stroke, causing part of her brain to die, she might lose the ability to talk and become paralyzed on one side of her body. With intensive therapy, her brain can rewire itself around the dead parts and she will be able to talk again and use her entire body.
In Autism, it is the same way. They used to tell parents to not push their Autistic child to do what they have trouble doing, and focus on what they are good at. This was HORRIBLE advice and the opposite of how to do it. I pushed myself extremely hard and my life was studying, every spare moment. I had very little social life. I got good grades but had to work really hard to get them. this reinforced what everyone else kept telling me, which is that I was stupid, a moron, a retard.
The older an Autistic person gets, the more they have probably overcome their challenges. You would have seen me at age 12 as rather low functioning. When I was 18 to 19, my brain had finally caught up to rewiring itself and I suddenly shot way ahead of everyone else, doing so well that I cut an entire year off my Engineering Degree. I actually finished even earlier than that by a semester, but they would not give me my degree, despite my having a job already offered, because they said I had to wait for everyone else in that year's class. So I was asked to teach 3 courses at the Academy, Boiler Chemistry and Engineering Technology I & II, as well as tutoring and practical Engineering on the ship.
To answer your Question, the world is full of arrogant people, especially so-called 'professionals,' who think they know everything and get very set and rigid in their thinking. God only knows how many countless kids are told that they have low intelligence and should expect less in life, or reach for less in life, or get a wrong diagnosis because the person is arrogant and too lazy to actually take each case seriously.
When I was in 9th grade and was given an IQ test and a battery of vocational tests, my parents were brought in to talk to the counselor, along with me. He showed us a bell-curve of national intelligence, and showed that I was on the bottom of the bell-curve. He said that I was not capable of college.
In one of the very few times my father actually sat and talked with me, maybe because I was so distraught, he said, "Matthew, you have a big choice to make, you can either believe those people, in which case they are correct, you are STUPID, or you can go back and tell them where they can stick their test results (where the sun don't shine), and prove them wrong."
Never listen to so called experts who are telling you what you are incapable of doing, or not good enough to do, or your limitations.
Here is my personal advice to you: The greatest limiting factor in your entire life will be yourself, your own fears, your own self-doubts.
For the majority of humans, who are right-handed, the Left-brain handles more of the cognitive functions and the Right-brain handles more of the creative functions. My understanding was that left-handed people simply have this reversed.
There is evidence in biology and seriously, he is a scientist, does he really think non-human animals have FREE-WILL? A choice to be gay?? I think not.
Have you seen the lists of animals and birds that have homosexuality? Homosexuality is common throughout Nature, therefore it is obviously part of God's plan and creation.
You are right, who would ever have chosen to be homosexual in the last two thousand years?
Homosexual behavior in the animal world is probably more often Bisexual behavior, going back and forth, but certainly not always. For other animals, it is probably more like it was for humans in ancient times. Back then, men lived together and were sexual together, or lived apart and were sexual together, and would declare their love for each other publicly, but there was no Gay marriage per-se. Sometimes they had a family duty to marry, be it for political or family financial alliances, and then continued their relationship with their male lover. Other homosexual men flitted from man to man, and some did it only when in military duty, which often was a decade or more.
I can recommend some excellent books that can give you a good idea about Gay life in ancient Greece and Rome, some written by a famous historian who wrote historical novels about Gay life in ancient times. You should be able to find these books in your college library:
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
This is the true story of a troop of Greek soldiers constructed on gay lovers. They actually broke the Spartans hold on Greece, and for its size was considered the strongest troop in all of ancient history.
- The Rise and Fall of the Sacred Band of Thebes: [link]
Next is a book that includes the AMAZONS of legend, Female Warriors. In Ancient Greece and Rome, in Crusader campaigns and pirate adventures, same-sex romances were a common and condoned part of military culture. From the Peloponnesian War to the Gulf War, from Achelleus to Lawrence of Arabia gays and lesbians have played a crucial but often hidden role in military campaigns. But recent debates over the legality of gay service in the military and the "don't ask, don't tell" policy have obscured this rich aspect of military history. Richard Burg has recovered important documents and assembled an anthology on these often invisible gay and lesbian warriors.
Burg shows us that the Amazons of legend weren't just fictional. We learn about the richness and variety of their culture in documents from Plato, Seneca and Suetonius. From courts-martial proceedings we discover women warriors in seventeenth century England who passed as men in order to serve, and army officers whose underground culture fostered long-term romantic friendships.
- Gay Warriors: A Documentary History from the Ancient World to the Present [link]
Mary Renault is a well known historian, and her novels are known to be very historically accurate. She was writing about Gay history before World War II when such a thing was shocking and unheard of. Her History is impeccable, but what she does is create wonderful character of history. You will learn a lot of accent history and greatly enjoy it: Her books are famous.
Start with this book about a Gay boy growing to manhood in 429-404 BC Greece:
- The Last of the Wine: [link]
- Fire from Heaven [link]
- The Persian Boy [link]
- The Praise Singer [link]
- The Mask of Apollo [link]
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
But I scored a 85% on that GayDar test...some were just dead give aways. (Rainbow background or rainbow pride accessories) but some, I just didn't honestly know... I started to think *this is stupid* because some looked like they could be both gay and some could be both heterosexual.
I never did take the test. I had horrible Gaydar when I first entered the Gay community. Because I was at sea half of every year, and spend much of my time ashore at home, or hiking, camping, etc, I was not immersed in the Gay community. I was probably in the community for almost 20 years before I got good at it. Part of my problem could be my lack of visual memory, which is another brain disorder I have.
I may have told you about how my first partner asked me if I loved him for the time, and I responded that I did not know, because I don't know what it is supposed to look like or feel like. He was upset, but he later said that he really appreciated the honesty. it took me months to sort it all out, and when I did tell him that I loved him, I explained in detail exactly how I loved him.
Love, as a word, is meaningless, because it can mean thousands of different things. A guy telling a girl he lovers her might be better translator into, "I was to have sex with you." People are constantly saying things like, "I love you man." You hear how people love their car, a song…and even that is interpreted differently. You may may love a song when it emotionally moves you, while other may love a song if it sounds good.
The love of a friend, the love of a pet, the love of a family member, the love of a romantic partner, or even the love of someone you simply share a lot of time and space with, like a roommate or co-worker, are different aspects of the same thing.
Therefore, what are the common denominator for all of them? What is the very essence of love? When I started asking my parents, sisters, freinds and coworkers, most of them said, "You simply know when you feel it." Well, I did not know, so i had no idea if I loved anyone. The dictionary defines Love as "An intense feeling of deep affection," which is woefully short of the mark for explaining the wide usage of the word. This is what I discovered about love in my journey to understand it:
Love is the Intimate Sharing of the Self with another person. The common denominators to all forms of Love are SHARING and CONNECTION. This love comes in all degrees, from tiny to completely fulfilling.
We can intimately share of ourselves, and connect with others, on a number of different levels, such as:
________ Sharing of the Heart
__________ And the Sharing of Space and Time (living together, roommates, growing up with siblings).
The Depth of the Sharing, and the Span of Time Shared, Determines the Depth of Love. Doing Something Selfless for Another, is also an Expression of Love.
Ideally, with a partner, we would be able to share on as many of those levels as possible. But if you do not share well socially, as an example, friends can fill that gap. It is not likely that any set of partners are going to be able to share well on all levels.
AUTISM & RECOGNIZING LOVE
Love comes in all possible degrees and also individual acts of Love. If you keep in mind how I defined love above, it becomes much easier to recognize it.
Instead of asking if a person loves you, the better questions is, "How and how much do you love me?" Love is not permanent with a person either. The longer you are out of contact with a person, the more the love diminishes in intensity. I had a best friend that I have not seen or heard much from in about 20 years. We are different people now, but the love I did have for him is still very real and still felt. If we ever get back together and still are able to connect and share, it would be renewed.
EXPECTATIONS OF LOVE:
Society fills us with expectations of love with romantic movies, TV, books, and music. We are told how love should look. If you are not the most important person in his or her life, it must not be love. How many times do we hear people say, "If you really loved me, you would do this thing for me, or would not do this thing?" Love can come in many ways. I had a partner unable to express his love physically or sexually, and said that cooking for me was his expression of love. My reply was that I cleaned the the dishes, cleaned the house and handled all of the finances, because it needed to be done. I basically dismissed what he felt was an expression of his love. I had to start recognizing the other non-standard ways he was trying to express his love, because until I did, I was not at all convinced that he loved me.
Expectations, especially unreasonable expectations, cause disappointment and unhappiness. Buddha once said (I heavily paraphrase), "If you have no expectations, you will have no disappointments." If you expect love to always look a specific way, then you will miss seeing most of the love around you. Most of us are surrounded by love that we never recognize.
When I went to the Gay Rodeo in Phoenix, a man joined me for lunch and started chatting with me. I felt connected with him immediately (non-sexual) and we had an intense conversation for 3 hours, exchanged contact info, and went our own ways. We then stayed in contact for over a decade, until he died.
Whenever we connect and share ourselves with another person, it is a loving act. I have been engaged in a long conversation with you and a number of other people. I consider these to be acts of Love. There many enjoyable things I could be doing, but I do this because I care about you and the others. If you recognize something like this for what it is, a loving act, then maybe you will realize that you get many loving acts each day, and have a number of people who love you to some degree. If you fully appreciate each bit of love you are given, then you will find that you actually have a lot of love in your life.
Most Autistic people have trouble making sharing connections with strangers, as well as sharing of themselves with those they love. From my deviations on Autism, you now know why this is so, but it can be overcome by simply doing more and more socializing, where you fully engage with people, where you open yourself up and share more of who you are.
It takes courage and trust to open yourself and be seen by another person, but once you open your door to a person, it opens a door of all possibilities and allows the other person to more easily open his or her door. It is like the time a Lesbian I had just met minutes before was telling me about how she had a secret that she had never been able to tell anyone else. I had been telling her that I was recovering from trying to kill myself. When she told me about her secret, I decided to take a leap, and I told her the story of my rape. She then felt able, for the first time in her life, to tell me about being molested for years by her father.
When people have been badly hurt in life, especially as kids, some tend to build walls of protection around themselves. It is like a tortoise who withdraws into its shell. When I first met my current partner, I complained that kissing him was like throwing kisses over a 30 foot high stone wall. I could be with him and feel alone in the room. There is a huge problem with the protective walls or shields—they are not two-way. Not only is the bad stuff kept out, good stuff is kept out too, and good stuff is kept locked inside as well.
When your heart gets shattered, and it will, probably a number of times, do you decide that the deep pain is not worth ever loving again? Too many people do just that. My approach was different. I opened myself up even more to love, and when I found it again, I appreciated it even more.
I am a very open and honest person, and way too trusting. I always thought it was an autistic thing, but that was not correct. Because of my trusting and open nature, some people have used me and hurt me badly. But I consider this simply to be the price to pay for love. The suffering I have experienced from raining open and trusting, is relatively small in comparison to the great amount of love I have had in my life.
Therefore, you have a big choice to make each time you get betrayed or hurt. Do you withdraw not a shell, or do you get back out there again, willing to be open, honest and trusting? Sometimes this can be one of the hardest things to do in your life, but it is worth it.
Finally, a warning. The world is far too full of people wearing false masks. You can know a person for many months and have no idea who that person really is. It is also very tempting to go on a date and wear a mask, forming the mask to look like what you think the other person is looking for, try to look like someone you are not. But consider this, let us say that someone falls in love with the mask you have put on. That person does not love you, she or he loves the mask.
When someone loves and accepts you unconditionally, knowing the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly about you, there is no better feeling in life. Just be yourself, and when people like you or love you, you know it is for who you really are.
I sometimes refer to my syndrome as ASD.
Well, here is my BIGGEST issue with myself. I think I am too attached and clingy. I kind of have PTSD from the first person I fell in love with. She totally broke my heart and I freaked out when she said I was too clingy and also freaked out on how horrible my heart was broken, almost completely…found out from my friends that she is just a “b-word” and she has issues…it is true, she did have issues and my love for her blinded me to the problems we could have had if we kept seeing each other. But I am so scared of my intense anxiety and OCD and also being too attached and clingy to where I feel like I will never get into another relationship… It depresses me.
I constantly have heightened anxiety about what other people thing about me, especially people I like and forming a relationship with, my anxiety gets even more high from worry about if I am clingy.
I too, am a very open and honest person, and way too trusting. I have been hurt and taken advantage of quiet a few times. I also thought it as an Autism thing…you mean it is not? I thought it was more of a social issue of Autism. Also people with Autism don’t tend to be aggressive or violent.
I never try to hide though. I don’t want to be closed up and have walls and baggage. But I feel that my major depression, anxiety, and OCD are becoming baggage…that is probably my worst fear. I don’t want it to burden me or others, especially the ones I love.
I don’t believe in masks, I consider them lies. I am a pretty honest person. Lies destroy trust and ultimately any type of relationship.
Yeah…the good and the bad…I just hope she (who or where ever she is) considers clinginess a good thing.
Ultimately clinginess is due to insecurity and lack of self-confidence. However, when it comes to romantic relationships, there can be more at work. If you rely on the object of your love to fill up your life, to give your life purpose and direction, then that person become critical-feeling to your own survival. I know about this because I barely survived it.
My entire life revolved around my ex-partner Paul, in taking care of him and trying to make him happy. The only way I could be happy was by making him happy. I could not be happy on my own, I needed him to feel whole and complete. This is called Codependency. I was the caretaker. When I came home from sea to an empty home, empty bank account and him gone, I no longer had purpose to live, I was completely lost. I could not eat or sleep. My sister took me home to her place and then to a doctor. I eventually started to regain function and feel that I was recovery.
At first I desperately tried to find a replacement for Paul, someone to fill the void again, give me purpose for living, make me whole again. I went to Gay bars and forced myself to try to introduce myself to guys, but all they wanted was sex (I had no idea that some places existed just for connecting for sex). Then one night, suddenly devoid of feeling and emotions and even thought, I found myself going through the motions of suicide. I survived by a fluke.
I knew that I could not possible survive much longer the way I was. Unless I fundamentally changes, I would be able to live much longer. I decided that I owed it to my sisters to at least try, with all I could muster, to fundamentally change who I was and I how I felt and thought, and if I failed in this, then I could die with a clear conscious. When I found out about codependency, I promised myself to not date men or have sex for a year, and just focus on learning how to have fun on my own, learn how to live alone with myself, and enjoy it.
I wanted to DESIRE a relationship with man, and not NEED a Relationship with a man. I wanted to be able to make my own freinds and have fun in life, on my own. I wanted to be able to offer a another man, a whole being.
To do this, I had to overcome the worse of my Autism, Social Fear and Social Aversion. I managed to find a Dance place for Gays and Lesbians (one of the few places where gays and lesbians mix socially, until it closed). Dancing is supposed to be impossible with my kind of Autism (Sensory Integration Dysfunction) which makes me very uncoordinated. If I told my right foot to go backward, my left foot went forward. But I had finally found a place where the music was not ear splitting and people were very sociable. I started taking the nightly dance lesson ($1 each) and practicing at home, but progress was almost nonexistent.
I probably told you about this part before. I made a quota to force myself to introduce myself to at least one stranger per night, then try to hold a full conversation. I had no idea how to this, because I always had my partners to introduce me. At sea, it was different, because they were like family to me, even ones I had never met before. Every few weeks, some of us would leave the ship for home and new people replaced them, so your shipmates constantly changed. I knew I could not play the social games that Neuro-normal people played, so I decided to simply be completely open and honest and hope for the best.
At about the 3 month mark, my dancing finally started to improve rapidly (my brain had finally made major progress in rewiring itself), By then, I had actually made so many new freinds and acquaintances that I had trouble keeping their names straight. I was driving home one night when I had this sudden realization that I had just had a blast that night and really enjoyed myself, having fun, on my own, for the first time in my memory (yes, it is pathetic).
I was getting asked out on dates 3 to 5 times a week, compared to the time when I was desperately needy, when no one would have anything to do with me. A stranger came up to complement me on my dancing and commented, "You are just glowing with happiness when you dance." When you have this positive energy, it attracts positive energy.
What I am trying to tell you is that if you work hard to become mentally healthier and positive, you will attract healthier people to you and you will be able to form a healthier relationship.
As RuPaul, the famous Drag Queen/Female Impersonator says, "If you can't love yourself, how do expect anyone else to love you?" Fill up your own life and become a complete person, able to generate happiness on your own, ready and desiring a Loving relationship, but NOT NEEDING it.
Autism adds challenges to us. We often lack social confidence and have fewer close relationships (friends). Social relationships help us to generate happiness events in our lives and help us to enjoy life more. Humans are social creatures designed for community living. Push yourself to be more social, to get out more, to invest more time and energy into friendships. You will get better and better at it.
My salvation was in making friends and in Dancing with men and women. How else can you say a few words (Want to dance?) and find yourself intimately holding a person in your arms? I found social confidence through my dancing and with other Sexual Minority dancers. How all or bad I danced did not matter. When I first started, there was a Lesbian half-my sized spinning right off my feet, and it was a blast. She did not mind that my dancing totally sucked.
I also made a second quota, once I could survive on the dance floor, which was to ask at least one new person a night to dance with me. It was not long before people were waiting in line to dance with me, despite how bad a dancer I was then. Whenever opportunity arises, commit yourself to happiness and enjoyment, then go for it…
Ever since I came into the world I have changed the minds of her and also my mother’s and have made them stronger in their faith, ever since I shown my mother that Matthew Vines video she has been motivated to study God’s word even more and my aunt is always telling me what new things she has learned by studying the Scriptures.
I remember telling you my aunt said Unconditional Love and the Ten Commandments is a pretty good outline of the Bible. That is what she said, because she learned that there is way too many misinterpretations and miscommunication within so many churches that they miss the overall message.
Nah, I don’t think it is pathetic…I want to be able to have fun on my own too…
Yeah, I danced before. In middle school and high school dances. I found out that the more I danced and socialized the better night I had. Once I got over my self-doubt and embarrassment of the thought of me dancing and how ridiculous I might look.
It has been found that mothers who hesitate to pick up their crying babies, pick them up less, and hold them less time, results in babies growing up to be aggressive and violent adults. We will slowly learn in what ways we can turn off bad genes and turn on good genes.
Therefore, in genetics, they like to use the term "propensity." For example, there is a gene in males that adds a propensity towards addictions. There is a family where two boys and the father are all recovering alcoholics and drug addicts, while the youngest boy never drank at all for 50 years, and when he started to, it was seldom ever done and very limited. The propensity was probably there, but he made a choice form a young age to never drink, smoke or do drugs.
There are those who believe that Autism is hereditary, but if so, no link has been found yet. The current theory is that there are certain genetic propensities that when combined under the conditions of fetal development in the mother's womb, results in autism (which can present itself by 9 months after birth).
Homosexuality is another mixed bag. There is very real statistical data showing that the youngest sons of multiple boy families are very likely to be homosexual or bisexual, and the more bores there are, the higher the likelihood. This has been found to be a propensity through the female side only, passed from mother to daughter.
At the same time, there are many first or only born boys who are homosexual or bisexual. With my first partner, he, his older brother and his father were all Gay, but his stinter was Straight.
As you piece the puzzle together, they realized the younger son predisposition was simply a factor that increases the odds of having a homosexual birth. As more research was down, it was found that the reason why some women were predisposed to give birth to homosexual boys was due to the fact that the male 'Y' chromosome is seen by the mother's body as an invader, causing an immune response, producing a specific anybody. Some women are genetically predisposed to produce higher levels of this and at a faster rate. There is conjecture that some women who gave birth to a son first, could pass these antibodies to a daughter, who would already have the antibody ready to trigger with a male fetus.
But it is not this antibody response itself that causes male homosexuality, but it is a path to lead us in the right direction. It all comes down to the fetal environment in the womb (hormonal balances, etc) during the two critical sexing-out phases of fetal development, where it all happens. One is the sexing-out phase of the brain and the other is the sexing-out phase of the body. It is during the sexing-out of the brain period where the different degrees of homosexuality takes place.
In rare circumstances, with a dramatic shift of fetal environments between the Brain sexing-out and the body sexing-out, you can end up with a baby with the brain of one gender and the body of the opposite gender (Transgender).
We do know that Stress, in it many, many forms, can cause homosexuality, be it a hormonal, chemical, immune, or outside stresses, all can increase the odds of having a homosexual child. Being Pregnant in a war zone, during the critical sexing-out phase, can increase the odds of homosexuality.
Genetics or environmental influences?
We do know this, that when twin boys were born, a terrible mistake happened and one boys penis was cut off completely. A monster of a doctor then decided to try a big experiment and told the parents that the only hope the boy would have would be to raise him as a girl and have his testicles removed. A documentary was made of his tortured life, the attempts at suicide for over 20 years, before the truth finally came out. No matter how hard they tried to make him believe he was a girl, he fundamentally knew it could not be true, the same way a Transgendered person feels like they are in an alien body, the wrong body.
Many chidden present with "Gender Nonconformity," like a girl who is a tomboy or a boy wanting to play with dolls. Yet, not all kids with "Gender Nonconformity" grow up to be a Sexual Minority. I have a Straight sister who was a tomboy and excelled at sports, hiking, camping, etc.
There exists a number of WIDE spectrums in Human Sexuality, ranging from one extreme to other and everything in-between:
- Heterosexuality to Homosexuality
Hyper-Masculinity to hyper-Femininity
Male to Female Gender
Asexuality (zero sex drive) to Hypersexuality.
CONCLUSION when talking about Genetics and behavior traits, or even disorders like Autism, or even certain cancers, it is never strictly a genetics game. You might have a gene for breast cancer, and never get breast cancer. Usually it is all about a propensity towards something, be it addiction, Alzheimer's, cancer, etc.
GENETICS & HAPPINESS, KINDNESS, COMPASSION…
People are definitely born with either better or worse brain chemistry for happiness and depression. That said, the genes for this can be turned off, or on. It is possible for a person born with a more depressive brain, who is raised in a very happy, bubbly, positive, supporting and loving environment, from the day of birth, to see his brain chemistry turned positive for the rest of his life. You can also have a child born with a brain chemically geared more to happiness, but receive such bad treatment from birth neared, that his brain chemistry get turned negative for the rest of his life.
I used to think I was born with a brain predisposed to depression, but when you are born Autistic and gay, with health problems, and are physically abused daily, autism untreated and unrecognized, in a cold hand abusive home environment, constantly sick and in pain, this would push my brain chemistry to permanent depressed state, chemically speaking.
How was I, a boy born into a very bad environment, able to be so caring even at age 11? I remember trying to help a girl a little older than I was, mostly by listening. My parents talked to me about becoming involved with people like that because she was known to be a liar and make up stories.
But I was also on the receiving end of abuse from infancy, and I think i probably felt compassion for others who suffered. I also had an attitude that since I was the scum of the earth, everyone else must be better than me.
Yet other boys in the same circumstances might become bitter and hate-centric from abuse. This is where our individual choices come into play.
The INFANCY years are absolutely critical to a child's future, as are a child's younger years, all building the foundation and setting the stage for the puberty years. How well a child is treated and nurtured, shown to compromise over conflict, good fundamental values, in an environment with forgiveness, care and compassion, this sets the value system and general orientation of a child's behavior that should carry that child throughout life.
I was talking with a software engineer in Luxembourg one day and he mentioned that his 8-year-old son said something about wanting to step in front of a train, and he was thinking that a child that young could not be suicidal. I was alarmed and spoke at length to him to please take it seriously and take his son to get emergency counseling. It turned out to be very real. I felt I knew the man well enough to know his home was a good environment, but it turns out that his son had been getting bullied for over a year at school.
There was a young man raised from birth as an American Nazi. He fully participated in beating, terror, and fully bought into Hatred of all non-arian peoples. Bit-by-bit, he would witness or participate in brutal events and would have these tiny nagging bits of conscious. he started questing the purpose of what he was doing and how he felt about other people. He was also seeing general happiness in people on TV and in movies, but saw none of it in the people he was with, in the wild drunken parties, etc. Eventually he had a "Significant Emotional Event,' which was so powerful that it was able to fundamentally change his entire value system. He walked away from his family, his community, his freinds and the life he had always known, and was now trying to earn enough extra money to get his Nazi tattoos removed by laser.
Never, ever, underestimate the POWER OF CHOICE. I completely turned my life around through that power.
Through the power of choice, you can overcome challenges like Autism, fear, anxiety, depression, and choose to be a happier person.
Well, i think that homo-, bisexuality is something akin to transgenderness. With transgender/transsexual people you have female brain in male body or male brain in female body, here you have mosaic brain with a lot of female features in male body what results in gay/bi man or mosaic brain with most of male features in female body what results in bi/gay woman. However it probably doesn't work without lack of some hormones. And probably it also needs a sort of trigger. Since nurture has a huge part of forming our world views, preferences and etc. If mosaic brain and lack of hormones both present but there was no trigger event person can live whole life as heterosexual and never knew that they could be gay or bi.
Also i didn't catch - if a guy has several older brothers he has more chances to be gay, but do they have to be in a row or having girls in between will decease the possibility?
Is there any gaydar test where you don't have to register?
A Transgender person is either a Female Brain trapped in a Male body, or Male Brain trapped in a Female body. What is significant is that the brain can be either Homosexual, Heterosexual or Bisexual.
A Male to Female Transgender = A Female Brain in a Male body.
- • If she is attracted to women only, then she is a Lesbian, even though she is in a man's body and appears to be Straight to most people.
• If she is attracted to Men only, then she is Straight, even though she is in a man's body and appears to be Gay to other people.
• Or she is attracted to both men and women, then she be Bisexual.
- • If he is attracted to men only, then he is Gay, even though he is in a woman's body and appears to be Straight to most people.
• If he is attracted to Women only, then he is Straight, even though he is in a woman's body and appears to be Lesbian to other people.
• Or he is attracted to both men and women, then he is Bisexual.
Genetically, women pass down a PROPENSITY to bear homosexual children. This propensity is in how her body's hormonal balances change under Stress. This is passed down genetically only on the female side, Mother to Daughter.
For example, if a woman experiences STRESS during certain critical sexing-out phases of fetal gestation, the change of hormones in her womb can affect:
- • The Sexual Orientation of the baby
• The Masculinity or Femininity of the baby
• If the baby is Transgender
An example of stress happens when boy babies are being formed in a mother's womb. The Y chromosome of the boy fetus is seen as an invader by the mother's immune system, like it was a virus or bacteria. He body quickly produces an antigen, and this immune response changes the hormonal balance in the womb.
The more boy babies a mother has, the higher the probabilities that the youngest will be Gay. This is because her body already recognized the boy fetus as an invader and has a more powerful immune response the next time she has a boy, and even higher the next time, each causing a higher change of hormonal changes in the womb. I have two older brothers, twins, then an older sister, then me. It does not matter if girls are between boy births.
In WWII, when London was being bombed by the Nazis relentlessly for many months, it resulted in a higher than normal rate of homosexual births.
An illness in the mother during pregnancy, stress at her work or at home.
NEXT, appears that some women may have a higher propensity to have to have hormonal mixes that produce homosexual children, even without stress.
HOMOSEXUALITY is a NATURAL part of NATURE itself and is found throughout the Animal and Insect kingdoms. Homosexuality has been documented in almost 500 species of animals, and 1,500 species total so far, and still counting, showing that sexual preference is predetermined.
Here are some examples: Monkeys, Bonobo Chimpanzees, Japanese macaques, Giraffes, American Bisons, Kob Antelopes, Bottlenose Dolphins, Killer Whales, Gray Whales, Penguin, Guianan-Cock-of-the-Rocks, Black Swans, Dragonflies...
TRIGGERS: No trigger is needed in Sexual Orientation. YOU ARE BORN WITH YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION. However, your sexual Identity may change (how you see yourself and identify yourself. My sister is technically bisexual in that she Physically desires both men and women, but she only ROMANTICALLY desires women, so she identifies herself as a Lesbian.
The bigger issue, especially in women, is recognizing their Lesbian nature, if they have one. Sexual Preference in women is naturally more fluid than in men. Girls and Young Women are typically sexually aroused when viewing Straight Porn, Lesbian Porn and Gay male Porn, REGARDLESS of her Sexual Orientation. This is because female sexual arousal is triggered more by Romantic feelings and thoughts than from visual stimulus. This adds to confusion.
Women have more confusion and difficulty figuring out sexual preference compared to men. For men, sexual arousal pretty much determines Sexual Orientation. It is much more common for young women to not figure out that they are Lesbians or Bisexual until they are in their 20s. Males reach the peak of their sex drive in their teens, while women reach it in their thirties.
The Gaydar test I linked to did not use to require registration. Try Googling it.
I do NOT recommend that you take any Sexual Orientation tests online. Bothe the Kinsey and Klein tests are heavily flawed. The Klein scale has replaced the Kinsey scale, but the Klein scale factors in who you social with, which is ridiculous. If a 17 year old girl fills out the test, and says she does not socialize or hang-out with other Lesbian girls, she is therefore less likely to be Lesbian??? It is stupid.
Even for adults like me, I have both straight and gay friends and that pushes me toward bisexuality according to the Klein test.
I'm pretty much sure that i'm straight. Also what's Kinsey and Klein's scale?
This is the Kinsey Sexual Orientation Scale: [link]
Keep in mind that both are based on very old data, and based on when few Gay men and Lesbian would admit to homosexuality even anonymously, because you could not trust anyone, and there was a change they were lying about being anonymous. They only interviewed Gay and Lesbian people at Gay Bars and Dance Clubs in a few major cities, representing only a tiny subculture of the Gay community.
these two scales are a very bad way to determine Sexual Orientation.
Hmm...I heard about Kinsey but never about Klein. Is it less popular?
People, especially kids, have a burning need to LABEL themselves, partly as a way of finding self-identity. You see kids use labels like bi-romantic asexual, which no one else will ever recognize, and few adults ever use, and wonder why they feel such a deep need to have a special label for themselves.
The more we label ourselves, the more objectified we become. Are you Charanty, a nice human being others know and love, or are you some label? An Object is a THING. When a woman is made into a sexual object, or she is sexually objectified, it means that she is no longer a person with a name and personality, she exists only for the sexual pleasure of others. Bigotry is centered in Objectification. We see someone as a Black person, or a Disgusting Faggot, or a dirty Muslim, and you are not seeing a person, you are seeing an Object and all of the incorrect crap attached to that label, and it is much easier to HATE an object, to hurt an object, than it is to do those things to a person.
Back to LEBELS again. Kinsey and Klein are ways for us to Label Ourselves, measure who we are, based Solely on Sexual Identity. The Kinsey and Klein scales even allow you to give yourself a number, like a 7 being homosexual, or maybe you are a heterosexual, but leaning a little Lesbian. The reality is that no label will ever really describe who you are as person.
Therefore, your community is probably better off not knowing what Kinsey and Klein are, LOL.
then i realized it was 31 pages long and got the fuck outta here.
These deviations are shorter:
Coming Out Gay Age 13, 1969 [link]
CELEBRATION of GAY PRIDE [link]
History of The Pink Triangle [link]
The Faces of Teen Suicide [link]
What Is Love All About? [link]
What To Look For In A Mate [link]
THE CHEMISTRY OF LOVE [link]
HAPPINESS, Fulfillment & Contentment [link]
A PATH TO HAPPINESS [link]
CHOICE - WHO WE ARE [link]
SODOM DESTROYED ON 6-29-3129BC [link]
These are long ones:
The Science of Homosexuality [link]
New Testament + Homosexuality [link]
Old Testament + Homosexuality [link]
My advice for you is to tell him that you have no interest in him or guys at all and to please leave you alone, and if he does it again, threaten to report it.
Gay people are just like everyone else. You do not know who the vast majority of GLBTQ people are, because they look like everyone else. Most of us are just regular people who romantically love with those of same gender. It is as simple as that. This article was to show there are some physical traits common to many homosexuals.
I wrote this and my other GLBTQ relation deviations mostly for other GLBTQ people. I like to get science and true facts out in the open so that they can be discussed. In my The Science of Homosexuality [link] I show how it is that we are born Gay.
By "smell," I assume you speak of Pheromones, which are a key to human sexuality, no matter what your orientation. Your attraction to women is largely due to the pheromones she gives-off and you smell. It is the same for Gay people. You can read about how it works in THE CHEMISTRY OF LOVE [link].
Slowly but surly more and more people be ing more open-minded about homosexuality. In Washington State we are about to hopefully get Gay Marriage.
I have been with my partner Greg going on 22 years. We live a relatively normal life, like any other couple, straight or gay.
All the best,
I try no to make any assumptions about people, so I did not about you. Homosexuality is not somethings anyone chooses. We are born this way, and then make the most of it. I was born Autistic too. Both gave me challenges in life, especially since I was born in the 1950's.
Something that helps me is that I do not think in terms of groups of people, I think in terms of individual people. Like when you think in terms of Straights, Gays, blacks, whites, Christians and Muslims, it is easy to think in terms of "those people" and see them more as a thing or object. This is called objectification. I had new neighbors once who had a problem with me being Gay, but when they got to know me, they no longer had a problem because they saw me as Matthew, not a Gay guy.
All the best...